


Distraction, Discussion

by MissSunFlower94



Series: Illustrations of a Wizard in Love [4]
Category: Mairelon the Magician - Patricia Wrede
Genre: (Sort of Both), /, F/M, Missing Scene, Post-Canon, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-08 00:10:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16418708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissSunFlower94/pseuds/MissSunFlower94
Summary: "Richard was stuck dwelling over the rather disquieting realization that nearly everyone in his immediate acquaintance had been aware of his feelings toward his apprentice – and moreover, her feelings for him."Set in between when everything with Mannering goes down and when Richard gets his magic back; Kim and Richard have discussions about magic, and feelings.





	Distraction, Discussion

“There will likely be no developments for another day, Richard,” Kerring had told him, when he had, perhaps too quickly, offered to go with him, Shoreham, and the Duchesse Delagardie back to the Royal College. “We still aren’t entirely sure how the spell is comprised, and even when we know that, it is only the first step in learning how to begin a reversal.”

“A day at the very least,” the Duchesse had agreed, and fixed him with a stern look that so resembled his mother’s that Richard had found he could not argue. Her voice had softened then. “You could, perhaps, in that time look after your new  _fiancée_ ; the backlash she took from taking your place in that spell will likely linger throughout the night, if not longer.”

That had been all well and good but there was little looking after his fiancée that Richard could actually do. The Duchesse hadn’t been wrong; Kim’s headache returned in the evening and worsened to the point where the best thing for her was to retire early. To his displeasure - not to mention concern - her migraine continued into the next day, leaving Kim indisposed, her room kept dark, only to be disturbed by maids bringing cool cloths in. 

He wanted to do something, but he hardly felt he _could_ do anything – other than be in the way. So instead, Richard was left with the guilt of knowing she was suffering because of what she had done for him, as well as a building frustration as hours passed with no news from the College. Richard did not take well to feeling useless, and he had not felt more so in a very long time.

On top of that, he was stuck dwelling over the rather disquieting realization that nearly everyone in his immediate acquaintance had been aware of his feelings toward his apprentice – and moreover, her feelings for him. Bitterly, he wondered where all these knowing people had been when the whole of London Society had been acting as though Kim and Lord Franton were already engaged.

Part of him still couldn’t believe it – that he was going to marry her – and the longer he went without speaking to her, the more he was convinced some part of his subconscious had fabricated the entire scene. Certainly, she had never given him reason to believe her feelings were stronger than the natural fondness that might arise between friends. And even with her opinions on marrying a toff put aside, she had told him there was no one she wanted. If he had been the exception, in either instance, why hadn’t she said so?

The only logical explanation – that she had not thought her feelings were reciprocated – did not make him feel any better, for it meant she had likely been as unhappy as he had been these last weeks. Perhaps more so; she had not had his worries about another suitor, but he had been so distracted that she would not be wrong to have felt neglected by him.

By evening he was in too sour a mood to be of any use to anyone. He ate little over dinner and spoke even less, the lack of news from the College and no apparent improvement of Kim’s health leaving him equal parts restless and disheartened. His mother and aunt exchanged meaningful glances, but to his relief, both refrained from commenting throughout much of the meal. It was only when he opened his mouth, ready to excuse himself, that his mother spoke. 

“If you’re finished, Richard, I believe Kim wished to see you in the library.”

He nearly choked. “She’s up? Why didn’t you say anything?”

His mother raised her eyebrows, but only said mildly, “Her instruction for me was to ask that you see her after you eat – which, had I spoke at the start of the meal, you would not have done.” She glanced at his picked over plate. “Well, would have done less than you seem to have already. Perhaps I should have gone longer without mentioning it, but I felt it wouldn’t do well to keep your  _fiancée_  waiting any longer than necessary.”

He wanted to scowl at her, but found his attention was entirely too focused on Kim for it to have been of any use.  Furthermore, just _mention_ of her was enough to make his poor mood dissipate like smoke. "Indeed not,“ he said, standing so briskly is jostled the table slightly. Forestalling any – undoubtedly smug – comment, he added, "Thank you for mentioning it,” and made his leave, forcing himself not to actually run to her.

He found Kim sitting comfortably on one of the library sofas, her legs tucked beneath her, a large book in her lap. She was still dressed for sleep, wrapped in her deep blue dressing gown, her hair loose and unarranged, and Richard thought she looked more lovely here than she had in any one of her formal dresses.

She looked up when he entered, her brow still furrowed the way it did when she was concentrating. “What does _lishelokha_ mean?” She asked with no preamble.

“To send,” he said immediately, and then, belatedly, “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” she said, but when she looked back at the book in her lap, she returned to scowling. Before he could say anything, she explained. “There’s a section here on long distance lighting spells, but a bunch of them are in Hebrew, or mostly in Hebrew… or mostly what looks like Hebrew.” She brought the book closer to her face, studying it. “Am I supposed to know this much Hebrew by now?”

Richard smiled sympathetically, noting absently that it was the first time he had smiled in nearly a day. She had that affect. “That’s the problem once you start reaching this level in magical training. Early theory assumes a knowledge of Latin and Greek, but the more complex the spell the more languages begin to be worked in, and most of the books expect you to be learning them on the side already.”

She looked back up at him, frowning. “So, I should be learning more Hebrew?”

“Not necessarily,” he said. “You’re progressing quickly with Latin and Greek, but I wouldn’t quite call you proficient yet. If you wish, you can set aside that particular lesson and focus more on perfecting what you know before moving forward with more complicated pieces of magic.”

“Or?” Kim prompted, because of course she knew him well enough to know that he was offering her options.

His smile grew. “Or you can begin to work in a third language while progressing in the first two.” 

“Is that more difficult?”

“Depends on the wizard,” he said simply. “And before you ask, there isn’t a right way, either. I’ve never known two wizards to learn in exactly the same way, especially in the early stages.”

Kim was silent a moment, considering this. Finally, he was met with her first smile since he had come in. Richard felt his heart stutter a little at the sight of it. “How did you do it?” 

“Well,” he began, a bit sheepishly. “I did have a more formal education to begin with.” He paused, trying to think back so he could answer her honestly. Kim’s smile grew, and she moved over on the sofa. Obligingly, he came to sit beside her. 

“I took to Latin immediately,” he recalled at last. “And from there, French and a smattering of Spanish and Italian – they’re all rooted there after all.” He smiled ruefully at the memory. “I took to it a little too well, I think, and had difficulty transitioning to languages that used different verb forms.”

“So you were learnin three or four languages at once?” 

He laughed. “Yes, but as I said; I am not an example on the right way to learn.” Privately, a voice – that sounded quite a bit Renee – told him that he was not a good example on the right way to do anything. Kim looked close to laughter and he imagined she had the same thought, or one similar to it. “I did it that way because I felt it opened more doors earlier and made it easier for me to find out what my strengths were.”

Kim hummed to herself, considering. “I think I like the sound of that.” 

He had a feeling she would, but he didn’t say that. “Well, we’ll have to find you a book on elementary Hebrew then. I assume that is where you’d like to start?”

“I’ve been using a lot of it already,” Kim said. “Seems right.”

“I’m sure the library at the College has something you can start with. I’ll ask Kerring about it tomo-" 

He stopped short, frowning as all at once he remembered what Kerring was currently working on at the College, what he had been told not to interrupt, what that meant for him. Of course, he hadn’t  _forgotten_  that he currently was without magic, but for the first time in nearly a month, it had not been at the forefront of his thoughts.  

Before he could muse over that, Kim made a sound like a cough, and Richard looked at her and realized it was a smothered laugh. He raised his eyebrows and she pressed her lips together as though to hide her smile. "I’m sorry. I know things are serious and all that, but- you look like someone’s just hit you over the head to jog your memory.”

In spite of everything, Richard chuckled. “That’s rather how I feel. You couldn’t have distracted me better had it been your intention.” He paused. “It wasn’t your intention, was it?”

Kim rolled her eyes. “If my askin you about magic helped get you out of your own head, that’s a nice bonus but it ain’t what I was askin for." 

"As you say,” he said, making a show of relenting; he never actually believed it, and from Kim’s resulting laugh she knew that. 

“I mean,” she added in a softer voice. “I suppose I could have moved to a different chapter or another book instead of calling you up but… I did want to see you. Feels like it’s been a while.”

“It does,” Richard said, equally soft. In reality, it hadn’t been a full day since Mannering and the interrupted spell, but even before then, it had been some time since he had last spent time alone with her. And then, to say his attention had been diverted would have been generous. 

He moved, gently taking the book from her – setting it aside so he could take one of her hands in his. Kim looked a little startled but didn’t pull away. “Kim, I’m- I want to apologize,” he said, looking down at their hands and collecting his thoughts. “I’ve been… poor company these last few weeks.”

“You weren’t exactly having an easy time of it,” she pointed out. “It ain’t no fault of yours that you had so many things to be thinkin on.”

He gave her a small, grateful smile, but continued. “Nevertheless, whatever circumstances were and whomever we may fault for them, it isn’t an excuse for me being so caught up that I failed to-”

“Mairelon,” Kim said, and he stopped short as much from the exasperation in her tone as the fondness in her smile.

“Yes?" 

"If you gettin your head so stuck in any sort of problem that you couldn’t see nothin past it were a thing that got me nattered, I never would of fallen in love with you in the first place." 

” _Have_ ,“ he said on instinct before her words registered and he felt his pulse go rather odd. "I, um, thank you.”

She laughed, before her eyes came to rest on her hand in his. They were silent for a moment, Richard feeling like he could scarcely breathe, let alone talk. Strange; if there was one thing most who knew him could claim he was good at, it was talking. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Kim said at last. “And this is still the one thing I can’t puzzle out.”

“What is?”

“This.” She gestured between them with her free hand. “I mean, it feels all out of nowhere but also, I can’t remember ever not feeling… like this. When do you suppose it all started?”

Richard exhaled, relieved somewhat to know that she was as lost in this as he was. They’d always puzzled out mysteries better together anyway. “Your guess is as good as mine, I’m afraid. I was well into it before I realized.”

“Well, when did you realize?”

“Your come-out,” he said immediately. Her eyes widened a fraction, and he continued, trying to sort it out as much for himself as for her. “The notion of your illusion was, of course, to illustrate how far you had come in Society as well as in your studies – but in truth, it only made me realize how wonderful you have  _always_ been, at least in my eyes.” 

A thought occurred to him and he laughed, looking at her in wonder. “I think a part of me has loved you since you first left London with us.”

Kim gave a short, disbelieving snort. “You didn’t hardly know me for more than a couple a hours.”

“A couple of hours and I had already decided that I wanted you in my life,” Richard said. “And then I simply… never stopped wanting that. You may laugh at it all you want, but it’s true.”

“No,” Kim said after a moment’s thought. She looked down, studying their joined hands. “No, I think I got what you mean.  I can’t say when it started bein love, but I remember after everything with the Platter got sorted and your brother asked if you were gonna come home… I remember thinkin that I might never see you again, and that I didn’t want to let you go.”

He opened his mouth – ready to tell her, magic or no magic, he would have never left her –  but she looked up at him again, smiling. “Guess that also explains why the two of us weren’t a great hand at seein each other’s feelings. Why didn’t you say nothin?”

“ _Anything_ ,” he corrected absently, thinking already of his answer. “At first, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, if my sentiments weren’t returned; I certainly didn’t want you to feel obliged to me because of our more formal position with each other. Then there was the whole matter with the, er, Marquis.”

She snorted again, and Richard raised an eyebrow at her. After a second, she colored a little. “All right, I guess I can understand why that got you nattered. But after I said-“

“What? That you didn’t want to marry a toff?”

“I didn’t mean you!”

“Yes, well, I can’t imagine how you thought I’d know that. You’ve called me a toff before, my dear.”

Kim blinked. “Have I?”

“More than once, to my recollection.”

“Oh.”

There was such self-chastisement in the single word that Richard had to smile. Shaking his head, he continued. “That aside, I also seem to recall you saying that there was no one in your heart. You can’t have expected me not to include myself in that.”

To his surprise, Kim blushed further and looked away. “Kim?” He asked.

“That was when I realized,” she said, her voice very soft. “You asked if there was anyone and I said no. And it just sort of hit me that there really wasn’t anyone else… because there was you. Just you.“

Richard stared at her, absently aware of the way his heart was rapidly pounding in his chest. The sentiment was no real surprise – she’d already accepted him, after all – but it felt like another thing altogether to hear her say that he was the only man she’d ever wanted. “Kim, I-” He trailed off, unable to put to words how she made him feel.

She glanced up at him and, though her cheeks were still pink, a small, playful smile pulled at her lips. “Not often I get to see you at a loss for words.”

He laughed, a little breathless, and when she began to look away again, he brought a hand to gently catch her chin and tilt her face toward his. Meeting her eyes, he decided words for this moment were vastly overrated, and opted instead to kiss her. Kim’s response did little to calm his heart or make it any easier for him to breathe but none of that mattered either. For several long, beautiful moments, everything ceased to matter except for the fact that Kim was there, kissing him. That she was his, just as completely as he was hers.

They parted somewhat reluctantly, and Richard rested his forehead against hers. “Will you marry me?” He murmured.

Kim laughed. “I think you already asked me that.”

“Not exactly. Or not properly in any case.”

“Well you know I don’t care much about things bein done proper. But,” she continued before he could speak. “Since you asked; yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Richard could feel a smile nearly splitting his face and wasn’t surprised when Kim laughed at him again. “You’re ridiculous,” she said.

“I love you,” he replied. Finally, he pulled away from her, though he continued to hold her hand. “Well, now that that’s settled, did you want to look more at those lighting spells?”

Kim blinked at the brisk change of topic. “You’re ridiculous,” she repeated, fondly. “But I suppose I’d like to, if you don’t mind.”

“Not in the least,” he said immediately, because it was true. He and Kim, puzzling things out together. Not minding wasn’t the half of it.

There was nothing he wanted more.


End file.
